Yippee, today is the second instalment of ‘Love Stories‘ and I’m happy to introduce Jasmine and Rob Esau. As we prepare for Valentine’s Day, I asked three Calgary couples to tell us what they appreciate most about their spouse and their marriage. Last Sunday, Jasmine, Rob and I met for a photo session downtown and finished up at Corbeaux Bakehouse. Unless you’ve been living under a rock, you’ve either heard of or been to Calgary’s latest French-inspired bakery and cafe. It’s the perfect spot to take your Valentine.
Some of you may know Jasmine as a talented wedding planner in our city and owner of Reflections Weddings.
(T) How long have you been married?
(J & R) Just over 10 years
(T) What is your fondest memory from your wedding day?
(J) Walking down the aisle and seeing Rob for the first time that day. It was like there was no one else in the room, even though there were 300 other people there. You know in those cheesy love scenes when the guys face is all clear and everything around him becomes blurry and some love song plays in the background…that is literally what it was like.
(R) The reception probably. We did a simple dessert reception with not much agenda to it. We were able to walk around and actually talk to every guest.
(T) What do you value most about your marriage?
(J) The fact that we really like each other. You can love someone without liking them, and sadly I see a lot of relationships like this, especially when they’ve been together as long as we have. But we really want to be with each other, do things together and just hang out. I also really value the security we have in our relationship. Our commitment to each other is that we choose to love each other every day, some mornings that is really easy and some mornings that is really hard but I know that we both will always make that choice or do whatever it takes to get to where we can make that choice.
(R) The Support and Consistency. I know Jas will always support me. It doesn’t mean she will agree with me but she will work with me to make things right, and I know she will always be there to push me in the right direction.
(T) What is the most important quality in your spouse?
(J) He is very relaxed and doesn’t take things too seriously. I am the oldest of 5 kids in a single parent family, own my own business and for sure tend to lean towards the controlling, fairly serious side. He helps me lighten up, have fun and slow down. I would probably be a stressed out, workaholic, control freak without him.
(R) I dont think I could list just one, there are so many amazing qualities. Her ability to ask the right questions to help resolve problems, her ability to listen, her drive to push her business to the next level everyday. Her spirituality, her positivity. I could really go on.
Be my Valentine
(T) What do you admire most about your spouse?
(J ) He loves my family. There’s a lot of us, that can lead to some interesting situations and he always stands beside me in supporting them. He is patient, giving, and caring with them and with me.
(R) Her drive in her company. The way she pushes it to be successful. It not only makes me proud as her husband but also encourages me to strive for better in my career.
(T) What do you do well as a couple?
(J) Because we are so opposite we really compliment each other. This is especially true when we are working on a big projects together, whether it is renovating our house (I do not recommend that to anyone! We did it and will always pay someone from now on), camping, business ventures, or training our Great Dane together. We understand each others strengths and weaknesses and allow the other person to do what they are good at and support them where they need it.
(R) Life, we communicate well, we work together well, our skills and abilities compliment each other well. We both want the best for the other and that is how we make decisions. We work to resolve our conflicts. Day to day life – I think we just do really well.
(T) How would you describe your marriage?
(J) A really fun journey, and like any journey there have been great moments and really hard moments. The best part is that we’re in it together and deciding together what we want our life to be and look like.
(R) Thankful, Proud. Thankful I got so lucky to get the wife I did, and proud of what we have done together and what we want to do as a couple.
(T) What has been your memorable moment as a couple?
(J) We’ve been together for 12 years so that’s a lot of memories. I think our first vacation as a couple. We went camping in the Okanagan for two weeks. There were a lot of great memories on that trip and it sparked a lot of goals and dreams for us.
(R) I would say our vacations. It’s not just one moment and we dont always go somewhere amazing, but I look forward to our times away where it is just us and the world. We can reconnect, learn something new, and just enjoy each other’s company.
(T) What advice would you give engaged couples as they’re planning their weddings?
(J) Think about how much time, energy, effort, thought and money you are putting into planning your wedding. If you put even half of that into planning your marriage, you are going to be able to choose love for longer and more easily. Invest in marriage counselling (or you can call it marriage prep if the word counselling freaks you out) while your engaged. Decide how you are going to deal with conflicts, how holidays will happen, how you are going to deal with money. Don’t be naive and think that love is all you need. Set yourself up for a successful marriage as well as a beautiful wedding.
(R) Get a Wedding planner 😉 Its your day, not your parents, not your friends. You do what you want to make the day memorable, even if it upsets people cause its about you, not them. Oh, and get a good photographer. They are the ones that shape how you remember your day when you look back at it 10 years later.
Be my Valentine shoot: Tara Whittaker Photography